The quarter life crisis – Feeling confused about life

The quarter life crisis - Feeling confused about life

I’m sat writing this in Starbucks, sipping my first ever pumpkin spiced latte. Listening to a “Monday motivation” playlist, on a Wednesday. I’ve just posted an instagram picture of my outfit from a few months ago, and outwardly, you wouldn’t be able to tell anything was wrong.

I have a good job where I earn great money, on my way to get promoted, run a semi-successful blog and am pursuing new passions. I’ve got my foot on the property ladder, have an amazing boyfriend and am pretty settled. But sometimes I get this ick, a pang of panic mixed with confusion.

Feeling doubtful, questioning why I’ve been put on this earth and wondering if I’m doing the right “thing”. Then feeling frustrated that I can’t answer all the questions whizzing around my head. Feeling paralysed, stuck in a bit of a rut.

I’m scared I’m not doing the right thing, not in the right job, not deemed “successful”. I see people around me doing big things, landing great jobs, getting married, having children, looking put together and happy.

It’s crazy isn’t it, because when I think back to my 18 year old self, 26 was old, 26 was where I’d be “doing something with my life”. But yet I’m sat here, feeling confused, a little lonely and not sure what I’m doing.

I thought maybe it was just me, but after self-diagnosing myself through Google, apparently the feelings I’ve experienced are common in “millenials”. I also found this pretty funny Buzzfeed article about it.

A quarter life crisis is real and thinking about it, I’ve witnessed it quite a bit, in peers, friends and colleagues. Leaving their jobs, searching for the next big thing. Moving away to find happiness. Yet I bet if you ask most of them, they’re still searching.

What I’ve come to realise over the last few months is that actually it’s ok not to have it all figured out. That you don’t have to be doing the same as someone else. It’s not a race.

If you’re really unhappy, you are the one person who can fix that. Fear is the biggest killer for me, but I won’t let it beat me (and well, you shouldn’t either).

One thing that really helped me was talking about it.

After having a conversation with a friend recently, I realised we were both experiencing a quarter life crisis. But had both dealt with it very differently. She left her job and thought she was moving on to bigger things, which came crashing down pretty quickly.

I had a mild panic about my job and what I was doing. So I started pursuing my passions by becoming more creative outside of work, realising that my motivations and daily life don’t align.

Starting with my motivations helped me reassess things. I realised that chasing that pay check isn’t everything. It’s actually about understanding what makes you tick, your passions and persuing them.

And if you don’t feel experienced enough, find a way to overcome it. Get yourself trained up, put those new learnings into practice.

And before you go quitting your job, look at ways to make the most out of it. It’s all experience and learning at the end of the day.

Or at least, until you find what it is you REALLY want. And if you don’t know, refer to your motivations, passions and what really makes you happy. Research or even start a side hustle to pursue your passions.

The quarter life crisis - Feeling confused about life quarter life millennial crisis

I’m still trying to figure out what I want. But I’ve realised it’s not a quick fix.

We will get there. It might take some of us longer than others but make it your focus. Stop pushing those feelings that keep resurfacing and follow your instincts.

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Photo credit to my babe Chloe Lee Photography!

13 Comments

  1. 04/10/2017 / 4:02 pm

    What your heart is searching for is God. In God is where true happiness is. A great job, money, nice home etc while the world tells us that is what success is, that’s a big lie.Success is about loving and being loved and the only way we truly can know what it is to love and be loved is to turn to God and allow him to teach us. Without Him, something will always feel “unfulfilled”

    • 04/10/2017 / 4:07 pm

      Thanks for your honest view on my post Robyn. I really appreciate it and it’s certainly some food for thought for me.
      xxx

  2. 05/10/2017 / 6:38 am

    Sam I can resonate with this so much! We all go through it and it’s horrible. But it does get easier and like you said focusing on passions outside of your 9-5 will keep you going. Love this 🙂

    • 05/10/2017 / 9:53 am

      Thank you so much Jess. I’m so so glad that you resonated with this and that I’m not the only one!
      Loving your blog btw xx

  3. 05/10/2017 / 7:46 pm

    This is such an honest post and a great read. At 24 I feel like I have a good career but I always wonder what if I start again and change everything! Loved this post xo

  4. 05/10/2017 / 9:18 pm

    Nice to hear I am not alone in having feelings like this. I might be nearing the big 30 but I have things far from all figured out and it is posts like this that remind me just how ok that actually is. Thank you!

    • 05/10/2017 / 9:25 pm

      I’m so glad I’m not the only one lovely. We are in this together.

      Thanks so much for your comment xxxx

  5. 09/10/2017 / 12:30 am

    Sam, I genuinely feel like I could have written this word for word. You’re not alone. I’m 27, have a great job, a decent blog, a wonderful boyfriend, cat etc… the list goes on of things that make us feel a bit crap and guilty for wondering, ‘is this it?’. I think you’re spot on that it’s perfectly OK to be unsure. I personally feel like there’s so much social pressure on certain milestones, be it getting on the property ladder, getting married, having a fab job, children etc. It can be quite exhausting really, so thank you for being so open and honest. Really enjoying your blog xx

    Sincerely, Sarah xx
    http://www.sincerelysarah.net

    • 09/10/2017 / 9:41 am

      Thank you SO much for taking the time to read my blog and comment Sarah. You’ve just made my day.
      I’m so glad I’m not alone and that we are all going through it together. I 100% agree with everything you’ve just said, it’s so hard not to feel the pressure.

      Going to check out your blog/social media now!
      Sam xxx

  6. 02/11/2017 / 12:49 pm

    My gosh Sam! This blog post was so honest and struck home for me too. I’m only 23 and I can feel that I’m not ready to be an adult yet. I just finished college and I’m currently without a job but I already feel all the pressure others put on me. And this blog post just made me feel a bit better about not having everything figured out yet. I don’t want to settle yet. I want to travel first and than live in some other country for a while and so on all before I settle and everything.
    So thank you Sam for this. Thank you thank you thank you

    – Kate<3

    • 02/11/2017 / 1:01 pm

      Thank you, thank you, THANK YOU, for taking the time to read and comment!
      I’m so glad I’m not alone and love the fact it’s helped.
      You’ve made my day
      xx

  7. 12/11/2017 / 11:46 am

    Loved reading this post and I can relate in so many ways. I am too in a really good job, just purchased my first property and I’m doing well. But i wouldn’t say I’m happy, I don’t even know if it’s what I want. The fear of leaving and starting all over again scares me, which is why I stay put. The creativity I have outside work will hopefully guide me soon, life really is too short! It’s nice to know there’s more of us than we think though! Xxx

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